CBLS Sinful Tour Schedule
Release Date: November 1, 2011
Series: #1 Follow the Music
OK, most of you know I am picky about technical matters in stories - grammar, spelling, missed words, etc. I'm generally okay with a few, as it's nearly impossible to catch every single one. But, the more that accumulate, the harder it is, for me anyway, to follow the story. I'm trying to translate it into legible English, mentally copy edit, or both. This story had me doing both:
mikayla shivered as he withdrew his hand from underneath her move and caress her ribs and stomach.
Note the lack of capitalization on the name "mikayla"; that occurs all throughout the story though her last name is capitalized as are some other names. Some names are capitalized, some are not. I couldn't decide if it was a style thing or poor proofing. It didn't help that mikayla's last name is spelled two different ways in the story. There were numerous sentences with missed words, odd capitalizations, wrong punctuation or lack of punctuation, etc. It made the story difficult to read. Correction: The funky capitalization seems to be the result of converting the PDF to kindle format. The other issues though were in both formats
Now, the actual story. I liked the premise, and both of the leads, Sin (though, I'm REALLY tired of authors naming their characters Sin, it's beyond old.) and mikayla. Both are likable, though there was one incident early in the story that had me going WTF? I can buy, usually, love at first sight, and people have sex with each other quickly these days but this, it just didn't fit with what we had been told of the characters up till then (sorry, I know that's vague, I'm trying not to reveal spoilers. Email me if you want to know), and I didn't buy it , nor did I buy the instant connection between them. Their romance happened very quickly and didn't feel believable. Oddly, the aspect of the romance that I found most believable occurred in the epilogue, about a year after the main story. There, we see the hesitancies, the doubts, and the ordinary problems that a couple have. The story has an HEA, humor, some steamy sex scenes, and is a quick read, but overall, it just didn't work for me.
I received a PDF for review.