Julie Interviews Author Barbara Lampert, Part 1

As you all know, I am a cat person. I mean, the picture on my header above is a pretty big neon clue, lol. I also like dogs, but I don't love them. Julie though, J.A. Campbell, who has written guest posts and guest reviews for us, she's a dog lover. She's owned by a Border Collie, and even has a series about a dog, "Doc, Vampire-Hunting Dog". So when we had the opportunity to interview Barbara, the author of "Charlie: A Love Story", about her and her dog Charlie, I knew Julie was the person to do it.

Barbara Lampert is a Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationships. She’s been in private practice in Brentwood, California for over twenty years. She considers her work a calling and loves what she does. She has a doctorate in medical sociology and two master’s degrees – one in psychology and one in sociology.

Barbara has adored dogs her whole life. They’re her passion! She considers them the magic on the planet. Barbara has had dogs most of her life and hopes to have at least one by her side always. She notes that for a lot of people, their dogs are their best friends. She loves helping people know that’s ok – that a soul-satisfying relationship may be found with any being and needs to be treasured.

Besides her love of dogs, Barbara is an avid gardener and finds herself gardening in much of her spare time. She sees her garden as a work of art. She loves being in nature – the miracle of growth, the ever-changing landscape, its beauty.

Today Barbara lives happily in Malibu, California with her husband David (married twenty-eight years!) and their six-year-old Golden Retriever, Harry.

Barbara hopes that "Charlie: A Love Story" will be a tribute not only to a magnificent dog but to all dogs everywhere.

Barbara was generous with her time in doing the interview and answered in depth so I've broken up the interview into two parts. Part one, which you're reading now, is about her book and a little bit about Charlie, while part two is more about Barbara, Charlie, and her other dogs.

"Charlie: A Love Story" tells of the beautiful love between Charlie, a Golden Retriever, and the author, Barbara Lampert. It takes place in Malibu, California. When Charlie turned eleven years old and started having some health problems, a journal Barbara was keeping about her garden quickly became mostly about Charlie.

"Charlie: A Love Story" is an intimate look at an incredible connection between a canine and a human. And as a psychotherapist who specializes in relationships, Barbara brings that sensibility and understanding to Charlie’s story as well.

Charlie was Barbara’s loyal confidante and best friend. He was indomitable, had a zest for life and an uncanny emotional intelligence. As Barbara says in her book:

“Charlie’s a big dog, not just physically but in every way. He has a big heart, a big smile, lots of courage, a big appetite, and a great, big, generous spirit. Charlie’s the emotional core of our family, the most solid being I have ever known, and wise beyond his years. Charlie and me. It’s a great love affair, a once-in-a-lifetime connection.”

"Charlie: A Love Story" is about devotion, joy, loss, and renewal, about never giving up or giving in. But mostly it’s about an extraordinary dog and an extraordinary relationship.

"Charlie: A Love Story" was released in January of this year by Langdon Street Press and is available in paperback and ebook format. You can find Barbara online at her website and on facebook. For more information on Barbara's blog tour, click here.
 

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Julie: You are stopping by on a release tour for your recently published book. Tell us a little bit about it.

Barbara: First I want to thank you for hosting me on your site and for coming up with such good questions. They’re inspiring.

Charlie: A Love Story is about an indomitable and joyful Golden Retriever of mine, Charlie, who conducted himself like a Buddha in the face of his life’s challenges. He had a zest for life and an uncanny emotional intelligence. Charlie and I were joined at the hip. He was my loyal confidante and best friend. So my book is about this astonishing dog and our extraordinary relationship. I’m a psychotherapist who specializes in relationships, and so I bring that sensibility and understanding to Charlie’s story as well.

Charlie’s story, which takes place in Malibu, California, begins when he is eleven years old but also includes a number of reminiscences of his younger days as well as some stories about his pack members. Because it emerged out of my gardening journal, his story is surrounded by gardening and garden images. And because it is in journal form, Charlie’s story is told while it is happening and is mostly uncensored, providing an intimate look at Charlie and our incredible bond.

Charlie: A Love Story is about devotion, joy, loss, and renewal, about never giving up or giving in. But mostly it’s about an extraordinary dog and an extraordinary relationship.

Julie: What inspired you to write this book and share these incredible memories with the world?

Barbara: Unequivocally, Charlie was the inspiration for my book. Though one could argue that because Charlie’s story came out of my gardening journal, maybe my love of gardening had at least a little to do with it. Let me tell you how Charlie’s story came to be a book.

I’ve loved and been passionate about dogs my whole life, starting, I’ve been told, in infancy. For most of my life, I’ve had at least one dog, and at one time my husband David and I had four dogs and two cats. I love all animals, but particularly dogs. I’ve thought of each of the dogs and cats I’ve had as special, but a confluence of factors brought Charlie’s story together.

For several years, I’d been keeping a gardening journal of my landscaping activities. Occasionally, I would write about Charlie in my journal. But when he became eleven years old and started having some health problems, my journal entries quickly became more and more about him and less and less about gardening.

Charlie and I had always been extremely close – we just hit it off. Early on I recognized his stellar and unusual character, but I was amazed at how Charlie, at age eleven, dealt with his health problems. He seemed to have a very deep understanding of what was going on, and just about nothing got him down. He was both determined and joyful. Indomitable and wise. He was inspiring.

At first I was hesitant to turn my journal into a book, because the writing was so personal and intimate, and because, being such a private person as well as a psychotherapist, I didn’t know if I’d be comfortable doing that. But my overriding thought then was that it would be Charlie’s story, that not only did I want to pay tribute to this magnificent dog, but also I felt that the way he handled life could be an inspiration to others, just as it was to me.

I knew that Charlie was not only a once-in-a-lifetime dog but also a once-in-a-lifetime being. And that ours was a once-in-a-lifetime relationship. I needed to write about him, and his story needed to be told.

And so Charlie’s story emerged in a very natural way, not written after-the-fact but as he was living his life. It never occurred to me that those journal entries about him would become his story, a book, and my tribute to him.

Julie: What were some of the highlights of your life with Charlie?

Barbara: Mostly when I think about Charlie I remember how funny he was, how emotionally smart, how wise he was, and how good I always felt just being around him. I have such wonderful memories of this magnificent dog!

Charlie was funny from day one, at thirteen weeks old. For starters, he did not want to go outside, not even to play, to walk, or to do anything. We had to carry him out. He just wanted to stay in the house. What dog doesn’t want to go outside?! Yes, he would relieve himself outside and was trained almost instantly, but that was about it for the great outdoors. And all his life, he seemed to prefer being inside the house rather than going for walks or going away. On walks when he was finished, he would sit, and I could not move him (one hundred pounds or more most of his life), unless I indicated we would be going home.

Charlie seemed to have a sense of humor as well. If he got into our bed at night, he would instantly fall asleep with his head on the pillow, just like a person. And no one could get him up – he only wanted to sleep in that bed. And then there were the times when I might be lying on the floor and he would come over, lay himself across me, and actually pin me down. I’d be laughing so hard that, even if I’d wanted to, I couldn’t get up, and he would have a huge grin on his face – he thought that what he’d accomplished was wonderful.

Charlie had a mind of his own and was very determined, which often made him very funny. It wasn’t just me – our housekeeper used to call him “Funny Charlie.” He would make strangers laugh. What was it? I think it was that he was for the most part very well-behaved but then, when he would want something, there was no stopping him. He was so determined as to be indomitable.

Charlie’s life was long and rich, and he enriched my life so much as well as enriched the lives of the numerous people and dogs he encountered. He was a big, gentle soul. As examples, he saved a little bird the size of a thimble, he protected a rescued Sheltie whom we brought into our family, and he would be very upset if one of our other dogs was ill. Charlie was so attuned to the world around him. And then when he started having some health problems at age eleven years, I couldn’t believe how stoic, wise, and accepting he was. In the face of whatever he had to deal with, he was calm, and he’d always become joyful when he’d gotten through it. As I’ve said, a Buddha. A being to learn from. A being that I and lots of people wanted to be around. Charlie was one big highlight of my life.

Julie: What inspired you to make a garden journal, which, I understand, turned into a story about Charlie?

Barbara: Good question! I myself wonder why I started keeping a gardening journal, particularly because I’d never done that before. Maybe it was because I’d undertaken such a large project – landscaping almost an acre. Or maybe it was because I was having so much fun doing it. It was exciting. Or maybe it was because there was so much to keep track of – I was doing it by myself. Or maybe it was because I started having so many interesting experiences in the garden as well as when I went to nurseries looking for plants.

While I was landscaping our property, I was living in my own world. It was so much fun writing about what I was doing in the garden and what gardening needed to be done, about the designs I had in my head, and about the plants I was getting, what they needed, their beauty, and the way they were growing. It’s interesting how all this got pushed to the background when Charlie started having his health problems. I still wrote about the garden somewhat, but that definitely took a back seat as Charlie needed more attention and I became more and more concerned about him. As Charlie’s story unfolds, the garden, the plants, my gardening activities start fading far into the background. After about halfway through his story, there are very few garden references – Charlie gets my undivided attention. But there is always a beautiful garden and garden images surrounding my Charlie.

Julie: Could you tell us a little more about your non-writing life?

Barbara: While I love to write, my profession is that of a psychotherapist, and doing this work is how I spend most of my time. I’ve been licensed as a Marriage Family Therapist for more than twenty years and consider my work my calling. I’ve been curious about people and have helped people with their problems most of my life. So it was only natural that I would do that professionally. I love what I do!

I specialize in relationship issues. I work mostly with individuals but also with couples, dealing with anxiety, depression, and various other mood problems as well as with character disorders, mainly the narcissistic personality. I see my job as helping people extricate themselves from the various situations in which they become entangled.

Julie: Could you tell us a little more about your writing life?

Barbara: To begin with, I’m not a writer by profession. I need to fit my writing into my day. Also, I’m the type of person who writes only when the mood strikes. For a few years, while I was journaling about Charlie and my garden, I was writing every day, no matter what, but once I began working on turning my journal entries into a book, my new writing became much more sporadic, and still is. When I do write, it’s usually in the back room of our house or in my psychotherapy office – places that are very quiet and beautifully decorated, with comfortable chairs, places where I know I won’t be interrupted. All of which are very important features for me. I often write on yellow legal pads, and though lately I’ve begun to use my computer, my favorite medium remains my yellow pad.

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Thank you Barbara for taking the time to answer our questions. For more on Barbara, Charlie, and Barbara's other dogs, go to part two of the interview. You'll also find a giveaway at the end of that post.

Julie Interviews Author Barbara Lampert, Part 2 & A Give Away

Welcome to part two of Julie Campbell's interview with author Barbara Lampert. Barbara wrote a memoir about her life with her dog, Charlie, called "Charlie: A Love Story". In part one Barbara talked about why she wrote the book and told us a little bit about both Charlie and herself. Now, Barbara will tell us about her other dogs, and also more about both she and Charlie. At the end of the interview is a chance to win a copy of the book for yourself.

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Julie: What do you think makes dogs so special?

Barbara: Their energy is pure. There are no hidden agendas. Most are filled with love and want to give it, and most soak it up when they get it. They live in the moment. They are so joyful and yet also very stoic – some more than others. Most want to please. They’re sensitive. And loyal. They’re curious. They try so hard to understand. They look you in the eye, want to connect. They seem to understand the importance of relationships with others. They seem to actually need relationships and are not afraid to show that need. They love almost no matter what. They made friends with our species – no other species has done that with us or for us. I’m so thankful. My life has been made so much richer by having dogs in it.

Julie: Did you grow up with dogs?

Barbara: But here’s the irony – I was not allowed to have a dog when I was younger and living at home with my parents. I begged and pleaded but to no avail. My parents wouldn’t believe me when I said that I would take care of it. A couple of my close friends in middle school and high school had dogs. I was at their homes a lot.

Julie: What is your most vivid memory of your life with dogs?

Barbara: This is impossible for me to answer. I’m flooded with so many memories of my dogs. The days I got them, their first days at home. All their funny, charming, and cute ways. Charlie handing me a rock that was too heavy for him to carry in his mouth. Giving it to me willingly and then running off to continue his walk in the garden. Simon holding a bit of a grudge. Sabrina running off with a tin filled with sourdough bread. Taking it into the garden where she could eat it in peace. Mandy chasing squirrels until the cows would come home. Arthur sitting on his sofa knowing that it was his. Barney meeting and greeting everyone with a smile, the consummate politician. Harry’s eager face when he knows there’s a ball game just around the corner. The memories are endless…

Julie: Have you always had Golden Retrievers or have you had other breeds too? Which is your favorite?

Barbara: As I mentioned earlier, I love all dogs! All breeds, mixed breeds, all sizes, all colors. Each dog is unique and special in its own right. But the Golden has captured my heart. We got our first Golden in 1987, and it was with her that I vowed that I would always have at least one Golden by my side forever. But here’s the list of dogs I’ve had and have:

That first Golden was Mandy, a reddish blond with an exuberant personality, who never sat still, loved and was friendly with everyone, was brilliant, housebroken in a minute, and loved to chase squirrels.

Then there was Arthur, our Afghan. Goofy and elegant, that’s the only way to describe him. Arthur was gorgeous – cream-and-black fur, soul-searching eyes. He primped regularly on “his” sofa, was independent beyond words, and never became totally housebroken. I do think that this unbreakable behavior was his attempt to make sure that everyone knew it was his house. Smart as a whip, as long as the situation involved him. And absolutely adored Mandy.

Next came Charlie. Nirvana right from the beginning. I think he had me laughing starting when he was a puppy. He was just a funny being. Ever so earnest, and big. I think at thirteen weeks he weighed something like forty pounds, and for most of his life, as I mentioned, he was at least one hundred pounds. A big, gentle soul, a big, generous spirit, and connected with me right from the beginning. Though he loved playing with Mandy. She taught him how to dig.

And then from the streets of Los Angeles came Sabrina. A beautiful Sheltie that David rescued. Without a qualm, she marched into our house with our three big dogs and figured out how to get along, was never intimidated, was in fact truly fearless, and had more chutzpa than any being I’ve known.

Barney, another Golden that I rescued (I found him crossing four lanes of traffic on Pacific Coast Highway!), knew exactly what to do when he came to our house. I didn’t want another dog when I found him. As a matter of fact, I looked for a home for him for about a week. But the longer Barney was with us, the more I wanted to keep him. After being with him for that week and looking diligently for a home for him, there was none that was good enough, and so he stayed. He was so smart and so socially appropriate, and he took the concept of friendly to a new height. Everyone – dogs, cats, children, in fact almost every child in the nearby elementary school looked forward to seeing him – everyone adored Barney. He made friends with a local policeman, who, to this day, still looks out for our house and who has become a wonderful friend of our family. We call him “Barney’s cop.”

Our fourth Golden Retriever who lives with us now is Harry. “Happy Harry” I call him. He’s six years old and still retains that joie de vivre. He might be the happiest dog I’ve ever known. He loves life, loves the outdoors, and loves but loves to play ball, actually is quite good at it, particularly the lost-ball retrieving part. He’s an extremely graceful and gorgeous Retriever – long fur, beautiful face, more than classic appearance, and very quick and smart.

Oh, let me not forget the first dog I had. Simon, a Cairn Terrier mix. He had such an unusual personality. Again, he was very bright, but quite standoffish and independent. Picked and chose who he would be friendly with, and there weren’t many people who were honored with his attention. As an example of how bright he was, when I was a flight attendant and had to be away for two to three days at a time, he was able to stay in our (his and my) apartment, pace himself with his food, use only a certain area to go to the bathroom, and never bark. Brilliant! He’d been a Christmas present, and I did not want to give him up. So he and I just figured it out. He would hold a little grudge when I would return from a trip, but he’d soon get over it. Unusual guy.

Besides the dogs that I’ve had at home, I go up to practically every dog I see. I go to the local shelter and give all the dogs treats. I love all dogs. But I love the Golden Retriever the most. For me this breed epitomizes the best qualities in dogs, particularly their joyfulness, their playfulness, and their need to connect with other beings. And they are almost always happy. They’re the kind of dog I dreamed of having when I was a little girl. For me, living with a Golden is a dream come true.

Julie: Do you and your dogs participate in any dog sports or activities?

Barbara: Can’t say that we do, unless you want to count the many ball games at home. And only two of my retrievers really wanted to play ball. As you may well imagine, my Afghan and Shetland Sheepdog had absolutely no interest in that. Arthur (our Afghan) seemed to think that playing ball was a ridiculous waste of time, even though he loved running like the wind. And Sabrina (our Sheltie), she was too busy thinking – analyzing and assessing – and trying to herd everyone. Charlie was absolutely uninterested in athletics – something of a klutz, and much more interested in what people were doing and thinking, particularly me.

However, those two ball-playing Retrievers were really obsessed – for a long time now, everywhere you look, inside the house or in the garden, you see balls, balls of all sizes, textures, and colors. Barney was a superb ballplayer, rarely missed a throw, liked to make the game of catching the ball harder: short hops, mid-air changes of direction, that sort of thing. Harry, the Retriever I have now, also loves to play ball and is also very good at catching it: one of his specialties is the no-look over the shoulder catch.

But Harry’s favorite game, which he invented, consists of him first running out of sight somewhere in my garden, then my throwing the ball, and then when he hears it land going to look for it. He absolutely loves this game. The instincts involved in this particular ball game may be similar to those for which his breed was developed: searching for a game bird after it’s been shot, then after finding it carrying it carefully back to the hunter in that soft Retriever mouth. The eagerness I see in Harry as he comes bounding back to me during this game is so much greater than in the other games we play. I think that’s because of how much he loves the search, because while he’s doing that his long fluffy, billowy tail is wagging really hard, as hard as he can wag it while running at the same time. Two truly great talents. Between Harry and Barney, it’s hard to say who would be considered the better ballplayer.

Julie: What do you think inspired your love of gardening?

Barbara: It’s so hard for me to know how my love of gardening got started. My best theory is that I saw my mother gardening and knew how much she loved it. When I was about three years old, I started going with her to a nursery right across the street from our house in Los Angeles. She would be so excited picking out plants. I used to love those trips. And then we would come home and I would watch as she planted what she just got. And then miraculously, to my young mind, these plants would grow and get more and more beautiful. I would watch my mother cultivate around the plants and then go out with her and water. Sometimes the neighbors would bring potted plants to my mother that they were having trouble with, and inevitably my mother would bring them back to life. That was always so exciting.

So my mother had a green thumb, and her mother had a green thumb, and now I have a green thumb. I too love to garden and get plants and watch them grow. But it’s more than that. I love all aspects of gardening. I love raking, watering, pruning, potting plants, designing – all of it. Dogs and working in the garden bring me so much pleasure, peace, and joy.

Julie: Do you have a favorite plant or type of plant?

Barbara: I have so many favorite plants – breath of heaven, Mexican marigolds, solanum, grasses (almost all kinds, especially pampass), bamboos, flax, ficuses, heavenly bamboo, Texas privets, angel vines, gravillias, lots of forms of sedum, Veronicas, agapanthas, leptosporum, pittosporum (some varieties), scheffleras, asparagus ferns, lots of different kinds of succulents (they’re so much prettier than they used to be) and then there’s all the plants I love whose names I don’t even know.

Primarily I seem to like plants that are not too neat. I like to see a flow to them and a natural, uneven look. Open, carefree, and relaxed.


Julie: Describe your dream garden.

Barbara: My dream garden is wild and open-looking. An English cottage garden. Not manicured. Plants seeding themselves, allowing that to happen. Plants and trees everywhere. Seating arrangements throughout. Pots all over, some with plants in them and some empty – I love looking at empty pots. Cobblestone paths, uneven but easy to walk on. Bird baths throughout. And I’d love to have a small swimming pool or waterfall among all this. Maybe a little stream and a little bridge. Maybe a little glass house in the garden. A place to write, to think, to relax.

My own garden is a lot like my dream garden already. Missing the body of water, the little glass house, and the cobblestone paths. I have Arizona flagstone for paths right now.

Besides the appearance of a dream garden, there are other aspects of a garden that make it a dream. Gardens and gardening are so forgiving. If you make a mistake, it’s usually so correctable. That’s one of the things that makes gardening so relaxing for me. I’m very happy in the garden I have now. I have so many plants and trees that I love, filling almost an acre, and the whole garden was designed by me. It’s beautiful, but there is so much to do, always. Another wonderful feature of gardening as far as I’m concerned.

Julie: Anything else you’d like to share with our readers?

Barbara: Again, thank all of you so much! I appreciate this opportunity to connect with you and tell you about Charlie and his story, about our very special relationship, and about me. I would love to hear about you and your pets (pictures would be great!). You can contact me on my website: www.charliealovestory.com. Please let me know if you’d like me to post your pictures and your stories if I decide to start a blog.

I wish you well!

Thank you Barbara, and the same to you. Best of luck with your blog tour, and give Harry a belly rub from Bea.

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If you want to read more about Charlie, the book is out now, in paperback and ebook, so go get a copy! After you read it, come on back and share your thoughts.

Barbara and her blog tour company, Tribute Books, are giving away one paperback copy to a US resident.

Enter using the rafflecopter widget below.

Please read my Giveaway Policy.